It Ends With Us, at its core, is not a romance novel; it’s a story about choosing to make different choices than those of the past to set oneself free from violence.
Illustration by Kate Granholm (IG: @Katesartthings)
CONTENT WARNING: This article will include discussions of representations of domestic abuse, and will contain spoilers for the book and movie.
It isn’t difficult to come across the book It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover when you’re in a similar demographic to myself: who identifies as a woman, is between the ages of 15 and 35, and spends time reading and on social media. It was only a matter of time before the algorithm caught up to me and the book began appearing on my recommended content along with other #BookTok novels; so, like many others, out of curiosity, I read the book.
It Ends With Us has recently been a hot topic online as people discuss how the movie adaptation, directed by Justin Baldoni who also stars alongside Blake Lively, has been promoted. Actress and producer Lively chose to encourage all the girls to ‘grab your friends and wear your florals’ and go check out the film (along with her new hair care brand and husband Ryan Reynolds’ new film), while Baldoni opted to stick with a more careful and serious marketing narrative, shedding light on domestic abuse and expressing his hopes for the film:
“I just thought if [the book] could affect me in this way, then I can only imagine what it could do for women and people who are in this situation all over the world. ‘Cause all of us have a situation or a pattern that we need to end the pattern of.” (CBS News)
The core of the debate on who was more appropriately promoting the film goes beyond whether there was any drama between the producer and director; it instead begs the question, is It Ends With Us even a romance?
As I read every plot twist and page, I became increasingly confused as to why the novel was so insistently advertised as one of the best recent romances which revitalized the genre through #BookTok. It Ends With Us can certainly feel like a romance at times, but at the end of the day, Hoover wrote a contemporary story on domestic abuse; advertising it as a romance simply allowed her to gain a wider audience for a book she (or her publishers) knew may not do as well had it been promoted as a novel on domestic abuse.
For a quick summary, the book focuses on Lily Bloom, who accidentally meets surgeon Ryle on a rooftop one night. As Lily comes to terms with her abusive father’s death and her mother’s inaction during the years of violence, she begins a relationship with the tall, charming, bad boy-esque, Ryle, who always seems to be in his medical scrubs no matter the setting. Everything seems to be going well until Ryle unveils a side of him Lily hadn’t noticed prior, beginning a pattern of physical abuse. Lily also runs into her first love from her high school years, Atlas, who instantly recognizes the signs of violence as a victim himself in earlier years. As Lily struggles between Ryle’s changing temperament and the feelings for Atlas she thought she had forgotten, everything falls apart when Lily realizes she is pregnant with her abuser’s child, leaving her in a position she never imagined would find herself in. (There's also a very minor side plot where Lily Bloom, in her younger years, would open her diary entries with ‘Dear Ellen’ (as in Ellen Degeneres) because she thought ‘Dear diary’ was too embarrassing, and she is also obsessed with Dory from Finding Nemo (voiced by Ellen Degeneres.)
It Ends With Us, at its core, is not a romance novel; it’s a story about choosing to make different choices than those of the past to set oneself free from violence. It’s a story about how Lily Bloom, without realizing it, ended up in the same position as her mother whom she had so much resentment towards for never leaving her father, in a relationship with a figure so similar to the man she hated so much during her childhood.
I am no certified expert on the romance genre, but experts have agreed upon two guidelines which narrow down the qualities of a romance novel; first, a love story should be the main plot, where characters fall in love and struggle to make their relationship work; the second, an emotionally satisfying and optimistic ending.
Of course, Lily’s relationship with Ryle is at the center of the novel, but it also exists in parallel to the relationship Lily had with her father and what she witnessed in her parents’ relationship. Lily and Ryle’s relationship is used as a tool to point the reader towards how, despite witnessing violence at home throughout her life, Lily was unable to pick up on the red flags in Ryle. She fell in love with him before realizing what was unfolding in front of her, and that isn’t her fault. The central plotline is Ryle’s abuse of Lily, not Lily and Ryle’s romance.
The moments readers are underlining as ‘oh so romantic’ when Ryle is charming, intelligent, and kind, are supposed to highlight how abusers can easily hide in plain sight and manipulate their image. Ryle’s character exists side by side with the character of Lily’s late abusive father, as the main character herself repeatedly notes how her father had managed to fool their whole community.
Love stories can exist as a sub-plot or device by writers and creators in any genre, from horror and sci-fi to social commentaries, crime, or adventure, and that’s what Hoover attempted to do in It Ends With Us. The success of what she initially sought out to craft however, is evidently mixed considering how her main audience now hails the novel as one of the greatest romances released in recent years.
Regarding the second guideline, It Ends With Us closes with Lily’s character choosing to end her relationship with Ryle and instead co-parent with him, reciting the title of the book to her newborn daughter. The domestic violence does not end with Lily and Ryle; it ends with Lily and daughter, concluding on a note that is hopeful, yet bittersweet, as the reader can understand that Lily’s journey hasn’t been an easy one, and that her final decision is also a risk, as she chooses to keep Ryle in her life.
So, why does it matter if Colleen Hoover decided to slap the sticker ‘romance’ on to her novel? Beyond the fact that it greatly minimizes domestic abuse and that it is not at all a romantic experience, It Ends With Us also utilizes to its advantage the very things used to discredit and dismiss the romance genre.
The reason why many readers confuse the blurred lines between romance and manipulation by an abuser may be due to Hoover’s writing and style. While it is a page turner that keeps audiences entertained with its rapid plot and twists, the lack of subtlety and nuance within the novel causes there to be a gap between Hoover’s writing and a carefully crafted illustration of how abusers manage to blend in all while being violent at home.
Hoover’s writing habits and style are much closer to the ones of the typical contemporary romance #BookTok stories (see Ali Hazelwood’s The Love Hypothesis, Emily Henry’s People We Meet on Vacation) rather than authors such as Coco Mellors who have explored the themes of abuse as well, but in a more carefully built manner which allows there to be veritable layers and complexity in her characters. Hoover tends to have very straightforward, fast-paced, direct storytelling, and while this isn’t a bad thing, it does not necessarily complement the story she was trying to tell.
Whether it was Hoover herself or her publishers, someone picked up on this disparity: unfortunately, It Ends With Us does not have characters and relationships which are explored with enough depth for us to have an intricate account of domestic violence. The writing style would most likely also never allow the book to be accepted as ‘serious’, leading to the decision to paint this story as a romance with a blurb on the back cover promising a story about an intense love triangle between Lily, Ryle, and Atlas. It also allowed access to a wider audience, as more people may be willing to reading a romance rather than a story on domestic abuse, and opened the door for #BookTok to pick it up, as the novels gaining the most momentum on TikTok are easy-to-read romances.
So, was Blake Lively simply marketing a book adaptation in the same way as its source material, a cute contemporary story with fun promotion allowing Lively to sell her other products? Justin Baldoni attempted to put a more serious spin on the conversation by focusing on survivors of domestic abuse, yet his attempts were drowned out by speculation over disagreements between him and Lively.
At the end of the day, no one was engaging in conversations about domestic violence when it came to any discussion of It Ends With Us, perhaps highlighting a deeper issue concerning what catches our attention or goes viral on social media. The novel, if remembered in a few decades, will most likely not remind most of us of the reality of domestic violence, and instead of a simple celebrity tabloid spat from the past.
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